Someone asked me today, "If you could do anything for the rest of your life and make money from it, what would it be?'' and it hit me how hard it actually was for me to answer that question.
If today was two years ago I would have easily said music. I used to spend hour writing music and messing around with my keyboard to find the perfect rhythms and sounds, but there was nothing I loved more than singing. Due to medical issues, the quality of my voice is unpredictable and I have a hard time hitting many tones that I had no issue with before. I guess I could still just write the music, but it hurts my heart a little to think that I wouldn't be the one singing and playing the music I spent so much time on.
That brings me to my next love, writing. What I would write depends on the day, but its always so therapeutic for me regardless of the topic. I think I have two favorite pieces I ever created, Strawberry, and Argentum Nox, but I'v never been able to get the courage to submit something thats finished to a publishing company (despite an offer I got) or share a finished full story.
With those things in mind, I think the best answer I can give is just saying; something that allows me to be myself. I have this incessant need to find a way to be expressive and yet quiet. I find all artistic forms intricate and at times even intoxicating. I love the feeling I get from creating something, but I hate when it is so loud that people begin to feel they need to look at it. I want my work to speak volumes in a way that is akin to a whisper, and if I could do something that would be just that, I would be so unbelievably happy.
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